Bachelor Party Cruise – no seriously… let me explain
To many, “bachelor party cruise” might sound like an oxymoron… like “jumbo shrimp.” But, hold judgement for a second and let me explain.
It’s actually the perfect venue when you really think about it. Here are five reasons that a cruise makes for a perfect bachelor party.
5) Entertainment For All
Men require few essential elements for a bachelor party. A cruise ship offers all of these.
Gambling: every cruise offers a casino and it’s always within walking distance. You’ll find gambling events offered constantly throughout the days: bingo games, slot pull contests, blackjack tournaments, Texas Hold’em. The general casino opens the second you hit international waters and doesn’t close until you’re done spending money. If there’s any interest in gambling during your bachelor party, just know that it’ll be an easy option throughout the cruise.
Booze: for many, this is the key ingredient for a bachelor party. And cruise ships offer plenty of booze. While aboard, you’ll find it tough to walk 50 yards without passing a bar. These options range from the Lido Deck Tiki Hut, to the famous Bionic Bar featuring cocktail serving robots. Many cruises also offer an “all-you-can-drink” package, seemingly catered towards bachelor parties. Alcohol is such a prominent factor in cruising, that individuals actually consume 8x more booze while at sea than in their normal, daily life. Fact.
Bikinis: it shouldn’t be overly controversial to assume that men want to see scantily clad women (or whomever their fancy) while on a bachelor party. A Caribbean, Bermuda, Mexico, etc cruise should offer plenty of opportunity for people watching. The average ship size is 2,500 people, and most of these people like to enjoy the sun on these ships. Chances are, there will be something pleasing to the eyes.
Buffets: whether your bachelor party guys are into quality or quantity, a cruise has what you need. For the gentleman that requires more fuel than most, the buffet is always open. There’s an endless supply of pizza, burgers, and the other major food groups. For that annoying hispter-foodie groomsmen, don’t fret. Most cruise lines now offer high end specialty dining and world-class menus. They’ve even successfully recruited the involvement of famous chefs like Guy Fieri and Jaques Pépin.
Thrills: everyone knows that cruising involves a lot of pool and beach time. For those that want to get their heart rates up a bit, you’ll find plenty of thrill-seeking options. From on-board skydiving to surfing to zip-lining, cruise ship designers seem to be taking a cue from the team at Red Bull as of late.
4) Planning Sucks
Men hate planning. Typical bachelor parties require the organization of taxis, dinner reservations, meeting times, event tickets, bail bonds, etc. Once all is said and done, there’s the finances to take care of. Someone has to tally up the weekend’s 35 events, split it among a dozen guys, and wait six months to recover most of it.
A cruise eliminates all of these issues. Essentially, you swipe your card three times. Once for the flight. Once for the cruise. Once for the all-you-can-drink package.
Dinners are all included, so there’s no fighting over the bill. And dinner reservations are the same time and table every evening. Everything is within walking distance, so cabs are a non-issue. All shows are free and there’s no cover charge at the nightclub.
The onboard activities are limited (versus say a Las Vegas), so choosing a schedule is simple. Typically, you can get into a nice routine of your favorite places and simply repeat for three or four days.
If you ever lose someone, you know there no more than 500 feet away at all times. Worst case scenario, they’re in ship jail… which is way more comfortable than real jail!
3) Cruise Ship Towel Animals
While they have nothing to do with bachelor parties, cruise ship towel animals make any event better. They also make it more fun to clean up bodily fluids.
2) No pressure to partake in typical, meat-head-antics (like strippers and bottle-service).
Everyone has seen the movie, The Hangover. It really upped expectations for bachelor parties. Nobody actually wants to do all of the crazy stuff seen in that movie, but somehow there’s still an underlying expectation for someone to wake up with a tattoo on his face.
When the alcohol starts flowing and the peer pressure starts building, bad things happen. Bungee jumping in Tijuana starts to seem reasonable. Spending $5k on bottle service seems like the thing to do in Miami. But, these potentially regrettable situations are limited to our available options. You won’t find any strip clubs, tattoo parlors, or shooting ranges while at sea.
A bachelor party cruise provides significantly less opportunity for wedding-ending types of debauchery.
1) A cruise provides a legitimate excuse for not calling the Fiance.
While on a bachelor party, most of us miss our significant others very much… but we favor another hand of blackjack over a phone call home to check in. Often the bride-to-be will say, “don’t worry about calling, just have fun.” And some might actually mean it.
Weddings are crazy expensive, as are calls home from a cruise ship. The latter is easily easily avoidable with a pre-planned explanation to the bride.
“Babe, it was either cruise-roaming-charges or those wedding center pieces that you really like.”
Click “share” below if you know someone that would enjoy a Bachelor Party Cruise.