9 Drunk Cruise Dance Videos that will Have You Praying for Humanity

Cruise + Booze = #DanceFloorLose

A few months ago, we analyzed cruise alcohol consumption on cruise ships and found that people drink 8x as much as in “real life.” The Drunk Cruise Dance Videos below are further proof of our analysis.

Every cruise has “that guy” or “that woman.” They’re SO excited to be sailing and can’t contain their enthusiasm. It usually happens on Day 1. The Lido Deck is hot. The drinks are cold. And, a select few forgot their self-control at the port. These special individuals soon become our cruise entertainment. To all the drunk cruise dancers out there – this is what you look like. And, thank you for the laughs.

The Electric Slide / Stumble

Her 30 fellow cruise passengers are surprisingly unfazed by her electric stumble. Nobody even seems to pay attention to her drunken poll routine. This suggests one of two possibilities. Either she’s been sloshing her way around this ship for the past few hours and everyone is “over it.”  Or, she’s a drunk ghost.

 

Y-M-C-AA

“Hey, remember last night when you got so drunk that you stole the show from the cruise entertainment during YMCA and took off your pants in front of everyone and rolled around like a complete jackass?” I’m guessing that’s what this disco-drunk heard the next morning in the buffet line.

 

Man! I Feel Like a Bourbon

Shania Twain’s lyrics really struck a chord with this drunk cruise dancer. “I’m going out tonight, I’m feelin’ alright. Gonna let it all hang out. Want to make some noise, really raise my voice. Yeah, I want to scream and shout. No inhibitions, make no conditions. Get a little outta line. Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy, forget I’m a lady.”  I think this lady forgot that she will be seeing these same cruise passengers every day for the remainder of her vacation.

 

Ever Wonder What Happened to “Goose” from Top Gun?

Just like Tom Cruise had his dancing partner, this Cruise has it’s aggressively mustachioed dancing partner with equally questionable moves. It’s a sort of “slither.” Like a drunk snake. Again, we’re impressed that the surrounding passengers pay little to no attention to the sweaty mustache slithering just inches from them. They must not realize that they’re in the presence of a drunken 80’s pop icon.

 

For the Love of the Dance

Unlike some of the other drunk cruise dancers, this man needs no audience. Nothing will deter his pure passion for the art. It doesn’t matter that there’s a hurricane. He doesn’t care that everyone else is at dinner. And, he won’t let his Sunday-slacks slow down his fancy footwork. This guy is committed. This guy is passionate. This guy is shipfaced.

 

 This Boat’s a Rockin

For those that complain about cruise ships not offering a diverse experience. How bout a drunk, metal-head playing air guitar on a selfie-stick wearing a child’s costume? I really hope this isn’t a Disney Cruise.

 

Nightmare Fever

This poor Cruise Director was not expecting what was coming from this drunk cruise dancer. The nice gentleman was doing his job, entertaining the crowd, when… well… this happened. He’s fortunate to have made it out alive and we wish him a healthy mental recovery.

 

Jamaican the Bartender Work

Here’s another solo-act. “Solo” as in he might be the only one on the ship other than the band. But, that doesn’t stop him from getting out of the bathtub and straight onto the dance-floor. He’s gonna need another bath after all of that floor-work.

 

 Exodus – Movement of Drunk People

This drunk dancer turns the entire Lido Deck into his stage. Specific moments to note during his performance include:  [0:32] the “inflatable marketing man” dance; [1:35] the “sumo prep” [2:15] the “stomp twirl”; [rest of the video] the no-tempo clap. Enjoy.

BONUS CRUISE DANCING VIDEOS

While these guys below probably aren’t drunk, we had to include them in our collection. These two are just too good to leave out.

The Dancing Enigma

This guy gets the “how does he move that body like that” award. One look at him would suggest that he struggles to pick up the morning paper. Then you see this video. His legs are doing things that shouldn’t be possible. The instructor might actually be jealous of his performance.

 

Dancing Behind People on a Cruise Ship

Have you ever had a feeling that someone is intensely gyrating directly behind you? Were you on a cruise ship?  You may not be crazy. A couple years ago, Ellen DeGeneres dared her fans to perform this stunt. This guy’s video went viral and now has over 550k views.

 

Tell your funniest “drunk cruise story” in the comment section below.

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