Funniest Cruise Stories | Top 5 – User Submitted

Funniest Cruise Story – Winners

We asked our users to submit their funniest cruise story and want to thank all of those that sent one in.  To the top five, we’ll be sending your cruise cabin door sign prizes in the mail shortly.

#1 – Funniest Cruise Story (Must Watch Actual Video)

By – Heidi H

On our final night on Carnival Magic, my sister in law walked right into a column. It was probably about 18-24 inches in diameter, so it didn’t come out of nowhere. We looked back when we heard the ‘smack’ of her face plant and crash and shatter of her glass of beer from Red Frog Pub. She was ok, and we had a good laugh. We even have it on video, it’s priceless! I still giggle just thinking about it.


#2 – Funniest Cruise Story – Key West Berlin?

By – Ron V

We were in Key West shopping for Perfume, the guy tells me the bottle of perfume is $65.00 dollars, in my smart a@@ voice I say “I can buy that cheaper in the US”, the salesman looks at me kinda funny and says “sir you’re in the US”, I slowly retreated out the door.


#3 – Funniest Cruise Story – Kinky Cargo

By – James S

funniest cruise story

The wife and I were celebrating our twentieth wedding anniversary on that cruise. S we thought we would have some fun. We picked up a set of pink fuzzy handcuffs to have some funny pictures made to celebrate (seriously!!). Both of our kids had gotten dinged on board. I made it through, when the wife tried to board the vessel, the alarm went off!!! We were told she had to go back ashore and see security. We were actually led back up the gangway. We were put in a small room and a very young lady told us my wife hand contraband in her luggage. Btw, our kids are setting on board and have no clue as to what was happening. I was wigging out myself…. The young lady told me the contraband was a pair of handcuffs and that we had to remove them and dispose of them or leave the terminal and put them in our car. So, I sake style young lady if she had a boyfriend or husband, she said yes, so I gave them to her.

Had fun explaining to my 18 year old daughter and 12 year old son, what contraband their mother was trying to take aboard the ship!!!! Had a wonderful cruise!! And a good anniversary, and Christmas Eve and day aboard!!!


#4 – Funniest Cruise Story – Full Frontal Flowriding

By – Leah

On the Oasis learning how to do the Flowrider. I was on my tummy doing pretty good just staying on until I fell off. I stood up and my entire bathing suit was off!!! I was standing up naked and all I could do was laugh. Thank goodness the guy running it came over with the board to cover me up sort of until they could find my swim suit. Ugh!

naked flowrider

#5 – Funniest Cruise Story – Foreign Greeting

By – Joan H

We were on the Oasis sailing with another couple and we were looking for them in the solarium. We saw the woman lying out in the sun on a lounger so my husband snuck up and stuck his finger in her ear. Well, it wasn’t our friend. It looked just like her, so it was very embarrassing when she jumped up and started talking fast and loud in a different language.

Honorable Mention #1 – Nasty Nassau Good Bye

By – Chris M

New to Cruising last year..I stood on my Balcony as the Carnival Valor was leaving the port in the Bahamas thinking these have to be the friendliest people in the whole world because they were waving very strongly as we were departing…I was waving just as strongly back with a big smile on my face…didn’t realize they were passengers that had missed the on board timeline..ouch felt like an idiot…Chris


Honorable Mention #2 – Locomotive of the Seas

coal powered ship

By – Patti

On one our cruises, my mom came along….one night, we meet up with the captain outside of the theater…he asked how everything was and we said fine, but my mom had a question for him….she wanted to know how much coal they go through in a week!!!! i almost fell over, laughing so hard!!! and they say out of the mouths of babes….think its out of the mouths on moms!!!!


Honorable Mention #3 – Key/Clue-Less

By – Virginia D

My aunt forgot her room key on the Enchantment of the Seas so the room attendant Judy asked what her cabin # was and she showed her the card (which is really the room key!!) and Judy proceeded to unlock the cabin for her with the master key. All awhile neither of them realizing that my aunt was holding the key card the whole time! LOL smiling…..


For more cruise fun, check out our Weirdest Cruise Superstitions. Did you know that it’s bad luck to cruise with Red Heads?!

Thanks again for your funniest cruise story!  All others are welcomed – just leave them in the comment box below.

5 Replies to “Funniest Cruise Stories | Top 5 – User Submitted”

  1. Pingback: 10 Dumbest Questions Ever Asked on a Cruise

  2. I was swimming with the dolphins in Cozumel. When the dolphin came up beside me I grabbed on as I was told but dropped off soon after. The guide asked why did that. “It’s not I dropped off, it’s what else dropped off!” My bathing suit bottom was at my knees.

  3. On the Carnival Dream we watched a guy walk up behind his wife who was lounging in the sun. He reached around her and grabbed her breasts. His wife screamed loudly, from two rows back!!! Luckily the lady had a good sense of humor and had a good laugh with the man and is actual wife.

Leave a Reply